Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Randomize
