I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Randomize
