SEEEEXXX PLEASE
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
drinking out of a sandbucket again
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
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