Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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