This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
