So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Randomize
