seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Randomize
