guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Randomize
