i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
