too bad you live with your parents still
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
