spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
