What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
