How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
