No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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