Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize
