In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
Randomize
