I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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