dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
Barsexuality is the new black.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
