just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
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