"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Randomize
