wat bout pragnant strippers??
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
What drink are we having for lunch?
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Randomize
