You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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