sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
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