i don't like sucking hair
I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
