Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
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