I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
Randomize
