I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
