The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Randomize
