Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
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