I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
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