After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
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