I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Randomize
