the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
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