it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Randomize
