I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
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