Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
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