Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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