maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
