Whatcha textin bout Willis?
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
