We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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