so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize
