you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize
