I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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