the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
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