It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Randomize
