I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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