I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
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