I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
You brought string cheese to the strip club
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
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