after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
