If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Randomize
