lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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