we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Randomize
