Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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